School Boy Boyfriends

Sandy Robertson,

so many years have passed,

since I used to pull you out of

your Trinity uniform,

almost on a daily basis.

“Meet you after school,” you used to say.

You’d smile, that smile which would make me smile.

You were always keen.

We would just look like two school boy mates,

walking out the gate.

Nobody could see how our hearts beat faster,

how our desires led us,

how we kissed each other,

how we tore each other's pants off.

I can still hear your rapid breathing

in my ear. Up on your tiptoes, 

holding on to me with one hand,

while your other hand...

me holding you,

"Ah, AH. AH, AH!"

And then we were done,

the two of us out of breath.

We met up after school finished for that first year,

your place, or mine,

when we had our houses to ourselves.

Then we lost contact.

If the times were different, 

you and I could have been

boyfriends for the world to see?

I followed you from the distance

of the Old Trinity Grammarian.

I hoped you were happy,

I hoped we’d see each other again.

Then your heart stopped

playing golf for a heart charity,

of all things.

Your broken heart.

And I held my breath,

as all those memories of you

flooded my head.