Secret Of Life 101

You’re too big, You’re too small

You’re too fat, you’re too thin.

You’re too short, you’re too tall.

You’re too up, you’re too down.

You succeed, you stall.

People are going to judge you no matter what you do

So, fuck it!

Be yourself. Own it!

Be proud of it.

Because you, yes you,

are good enough just the way you are.

Don’t ever listen to anyone who says otherwise,

They are probably only saying it 

to make themselves look bright,

it is one of the secrets of life,

to learn,

to observe,

‘other’ people are absurd.

Cruel

The wind blows, outside,

somewhere beyond in the stillness, I find myself.

A transitory concept.

My body hums,

my senses numb,

I am lost in the

idea off all of this.

Ignorance can be bliss.

We should all strive more,

beyond the hubbub

and what everyone else does,

to what makes us special, unique.

A full life

is a consolation

for it having passed.

So fast, my head spins,

until, suddenly, 

I am staring at it all behind.

Why didn’t I? 

I had plenty of time too? 

I guess, I thought I had forever.

21st Century Twats

Xi Jinping is a cunt

Xi Jinping is a cunt

Xi Jinping is a cunt, cunt, cunt,

Xi Jinping is a cunt

Putin is an evil cunt

Putin is an evil cunt

Putin is an evil cunt, cunt, cunt

Putin is an evil cunt.

Kim Jong Un is a fat cunt

Kim Jong Un is a fat cunt

Kim Jong Un is a fat, fat, cunt

Kim Jong Un is a fat cunt.

Donald Trump is a populist, authoritarian, narcissist, lying, obese, piece of orange shit set on destroying America to prop up his fragile child’s ego.

Americans may well be the stupidest race on the planet, as they look as though they may just vote Trump back into office to fuck them all over again.

And this time, it will be without lube, from all reports.

Losing Faith

Losing my faith, well, you know, that was lost long ago, because it never made sense, to me anyway, not in a modern world.

Original sin, what? Nobody knows what that is about.

Dying on the cross, to forgive us our trespasses, that just makes arses,

of you and me. The all powerful had to kill his son, why did he do that?

Because he loved him so much? Huh? Because he loved us? What?

He made us witness that? For eternity? With no chance of reprieve?

The omnipotent, could just forgive, did he not think of that? Not too smart.

When did death ever equal love? It never did? (Only grandma kissing her husband of 70 years goodbye)

And those big disasters, what about those? We thank god for the few of us he saved, never questioning his need to kill any of us in the first place? 

You mad man! What the fuck did you do?

Then there are his representatives, pious, in a dress, fiddling with little girls and little boys? What a mess. Made in his own image? What about them? God’s image. Not too impressive.

And what about the other 4999 all powerful gods, running all the other god schemes in the world? What about those guys? Why would I not buy into their claims. 

Smart people in the world, who have studied these things, say it doesn’t matter which version you buy into, they are all the same.

“Step right up! Step right up! New and improved god bullshit for your dreams.”

Ah, no thanks, I’ll take my chances with the rest of these poor sods treading the earth.

And where do the dinosaur's 150 million years fit into all of this? Made in his own image? God is a dinosaur? That is the only bit that makes any sense.

Oh no, I don’t have any faith in your man made religion, let it sooth the masses, like the cult of Trump soothes the masses now.

He is god. 

The same delusional, ill-fitting failure of the all powerful that explains nothing, but god.

Like catching water in your hands.

Mary had a little lamb,

Oh, no, she had the son of god.

The lamb of God.

It is all the same fairy tale,

when you follow the logic to the end.

Lambs.

Gods.

Are you following along?

Everybody wants something greater to believe.

Shame

Someone scratched up the bonnet of my car.

How bizarre,

that someone would get pleasure from that?

They took a blade and scratched right into the paint,

slashing across, and across,

like that made them boss, I can only think.

Such little joy, one would presume.

Such little hope for humanity, for such delight,

as I day dreamed about that same blade,

slashing their throat.

I wasn’t even ashamed, of the pleasure that thought gave.

Such is life.

What is a Man

Snakes and snails

and puppy-dogs' tails.

Dust and acid and at worst

dirt.

The dry, parched fields,

a day with no rain,

sweat without yield,

beauty without refrain.

fingernails too long,

jocks on the pong,

beer and nuts,

power and guts,

perfume and butts.

Cum in a sock,

bravado we can mock

Alphas on the clock.

Betas take stock

Meet You On The Top Of The Empire State Building

You changed. Oh, not very much, and probably nobody else

would have noticed, but I’m not anybody else. Well, I thought… 

And not that I was looking for it, but when it is just you and me,

it’s not hard to notice. I know you intimately, I have for, oh

it’s been 20 years, this year, and in 20 years I’ve got to know you well.

I know your foibles and I know your joys. I know what you like 

and what you don’t. Oh yes, they are easy to spot, any change in them. 

Well…

We like the same things, you and me, and that is why you like me, 

and I like you. People and parties are not really our thing, 

oh yes sometimes, of course, when we go hand in hand, when you

are with me, and I am with you, that is what you used to like, too. 

Me and you. 

We’d bitch about the same things, and eschew the other things, and we’d make each other laugh with our very own brand of pig headedness. You and me. 

And there was change in those things, you wanted to go to the things we both used to point at and laugh. You wanted to mix with people at work do’s. Really? You stopped sharing the boring phone calls you had. Not that I ever wanted you too, share, but you would, anyway, and we’d both laugh, together. 

And then you’d be gone and you’d offer no explanation, where you once told me everything, even the inconsequential bits. And I found myself wondering where you were, where I never had to wonder in the past where you were.

And, I guessed, you didn’t notice you changing because it was all exciting and new, for you. And I wouldn’t have begrudged you any of that, excitement, I’d be happy for you, if you told me, and I knew. It was still you and me, then, of course.

But you just left me sitting there on my own, alone, as though it didn’t matter, like you’d moved on and you just forgot to tell me, like you forgot to leave, like you’d changed and you’d forgotten to let me know.

Did you think I wouldn’t notice?

Things Of My Dreams

Gum drops and dinosaurs’ and ants with no knickers

Fruit trees and elephants and bombs with no tickers

Bread & butter pudding covered in cream

These are some of the things of my dreams

Cellophane and cherry cakes and buttons from the ages

Star light and egg cups and books with crisp pages

Leather couches stitched at the seems

These are some of the things of my dreams

Bulldogs and goulash and country houses with lakes

Boxes and goblins and chocolate layer cakes

Low slung sports cars in metallic green

These are some of the things of my dreams

When the jerk speaks

When the flu spreads

When I’m feeling sad

I simply remember the things of my dreams

And then I don’t feel so bad

Bicycles and thrift shops and bears with exotic names

Apple pies and blue skies and foreign cities to exclaim

And those little black shorts on football teams

These are some of the things of my dreams

Peacocks and clowns and Sundays that never end

Big hats and black suits and families that blend

Teapots and sugar bowls in silver that gleams

These are some of the things of my dreams

A world where we’re all equal and afternoon tea cakes on trays

Respect for everyone no matter which way they play

Glorious sunshine that warms my bloodstream

These are some of the things of my dreams

When the jerk speaks

When the flu spreads

When I’m feeling sad

I simply remember the things of my dreams

And then I don’t feel so bad

Wednesday Poem, Jack and Beau

Wednesday, what can I say?

It is a good day,

for realising what you did on the weekend,

was not just drunken behaviour, per se,

but really pretty fucken gay.

You and your buddy, Jack,

that wasn't just boredom,

or too many beers,

that was pretty fucken queer.

Not that I am pointing a finger,

there should be more of it,

there is more of it,

just not a lot of talk about it

out loud.

You straight boys,

with your big toys,

when there are no girls around,

you always come around,

to getting with each other,

not that there is any bother,

with that, brother,

just what your other mates,

down the footy club,

might say, if they saw you and Jack,

treat each other that way.

Lovely Jack, you and he,

always the best of buds,

you'd agree,

he's got lovely eyes,

you have always noticed, you can't deny,

and you'd do anything for him,

and on the weekend, you pretty much did.

In your arms, so disarmed,

that you have always felt that way about him,

especially when you are 6 to 10 beers in.

Beau said he liked it and would do it again,

with you, he said, he’d do it again with you

and that spun your head,

when you’ve both only ever gone for girls,

and to your surprise, you liked Beau too,

but you weren’t admitting to that taboo,

oh no. But you did now think Beau was handsome,

something you couldn’t explain. And Beau told you

that you were just so good looking, he had to say

not really in a way that was gay, but matter of fact,

although after what you’d both just done,

how could he not say it was… er… let’s say fun?

Creeping Up On Me

I see my reflection in a shop window

and I see the failure of time

as a crime all over my face.

Then I look away, and hurry off

hoping the face looking back at me

won’t catch up to me any time soon.

Because it sneaks up on you,

as if out of nowhere, leaving you 

wondering where the hell did that come from?

Ageist Queer

Nobody likes an old queer

and those distasteful thoughts of geriatrics 

taking it up the rear,

where there is something dashing about a young gay,

muscular legs getting fucked away,

his handsome face calling out in joyous dismay.

That's All

You’ll become dust. I’ll 

become dust. And then big blow,

from the winds of time, 

“Ffffff.” And, that’s all,

as they say,

there we’d go.

The Liquid Amber

frail beauty falling to earth.

All our broken hearts.

Good Luck

Some people say that you get what you need, in this life,

they even say there is some mythical being

making sure you never get more than you want, or need.

The truth is, that you get what you get

in this life, here is your lot, enough, too much,

they are not even considered, sink, or swim, here it is.

Write From Your Heart

Write from your heart,

so it goes,

isn't that what they say?

I try to listen to what my heart says,

so I can tell you,

I want to, but,

how do you do that?

I don't know what is in there.

But whenever I leave my head, it’s a trap door, clunk, to a void, there isn’t anything there.

Trying too hard, I’m trying to put my brain into my chest.

Barbara Allerding

“Barbara, I have two beautiful bulldogs.”

What I would have given for you to see them.

“Oh John, they are beautiful,” you’d say,

drawing both your hands up to the sides of your face.

Your look of the purest joy.

I’ve got Bulldogs, you had Bassett Hounds,

for all those years I drove your car around.

A Mini Cooper S, Mk1. BRG.

As I lay in front of my open fire, today,

on this winter’s day of June,

I suddenly realised, I will never,

have the pleasure of seeing your beautiful smile,

as you say those words.

I’m just going to have to dream 

of that moment,

now forever,

instead.

Talking Point

Woke must be the biggest joke

ever perpetuated against society.

The conservatives, and the bigots, and the racists

commandeering a bogey man against which to rail,

so, they can go on talking their bigotry unabashed

with ‘woke’ meaning anything they want.

Double Standard Bigotry

A dick goes in your son’s mouth

and that makes you feel disgusted,

you say?

Do you ever think about the dick 

that goes in your daughter’s mouth?

No, I guess you don’t,

hey?

I hate to be so crude, but there is no other way

for that to be said, to say,

I am telling you about the same love,

as anyone else, but so many of you go there

and that is why, to you, it is so queer,

it is your problem not ours.

Bigoted politicians tweet vile messages,

which are universally condemned, by all and sundry

but then they say, in their defence we don't know 

how men feel, but we do know, how real men deal 

they don't care about being bigoted,

to hide their prejudice away,

real men hug their friends and their sons 

in exactly the same way.

Good Times

I feel like crap. Big weekend

Had good times. All the clubs I attend.

I danced under the lights.

I shared pills out of sight.

New mates I met for the night

Best clubbing buddies instantly tight.

The cubicle door locked, one pissed, 

The toilet system wiped, one sniffed.

On to the roof deck we drift

Some guy sucking shots off a comatose girl’s midriff

As her boyfriend showed polaroid’s of her snatch

Not sure who he was trying to attract.

I kissed in the shadows.

With the dark, sweaty fellow

We made eye contact as we danced

Him just wearing black pants

He smelt like a man

He had big warm hands

DJ one, DJ two. Deep house groove

We did things in the dark no one’s mother would approve

That sweet boy’s heart I theft

Vomiting in the gutter as I left

Wiping spittle from our mouths

as the taxi stopped we shout.

In the back seat, we held hands

At home, I got to pull off his pants

He left as the sun came up

Clothes back on, not a wash

I smiled and felt his beard rash.

Hours later when I was awake

My mouth was dry and my head ached.

Inequality

Increasingly, 

the police 

make up a barricade 

between those who have more than they could ever need, 

and those who have less than nothing.

Being

Sexless little being with a squeaky voice

Grow hair on your chin, girls are a choice

The cheek’s begun, love your mum

Hero, or teacher, love your father

Love with all your might, or fight.

Some people say it is the passing of the baton

you know what, that’s what happens.

Rip into life, get into strife

Grow your hair, what will I wear

Devil may care, have an affair

Children every week, that’s what you seek

She becomes the woman with whom you used to sleep

TV dinners on your own, missing your kids, missing your home

They grow so fast, when did you see them last

On your own, that was never the plan

Quickly it becomes time to hang up your work

Grey hair at the temples, suddenly you’re old

Someone to look after you, no never, eschew

Fight of your life, one night you die

Remembered for what, being a good guy that’s what

Fifty years passed. “Who is this?” your great grandkids ask.

That’s not how you thought this would play out.

Real

Cry

and you heal

Laugh

and you thrive

Love

and you survive

Smile

and the world smiles

Dance

and you live

Be hurt

and forgive

What Is Fashion?

Fashions glow, and fashions fade,

but real friendships 

hardly ever go away.

We sustain our lives that way

over so many years

smiles and tears,

conservative, or queer,

we are all here,

breathing the same breath,

bless, 

nature, sun and rain

bravery, or fear,

we all end up the same,

no matter what you believe.

Everywhere and All At Once

Omg, the weather,

it is everywhere, 

like a mother’s love,

or the sky above,

or the days 

that run into months,

or the years 

ticked off one by one,

or the great consciousness

of humanity,

that binds us all as one.

One Night Stand

I remember

your mouth,

the sparkle in your eyes.

Your intoxication

of me,

I remember that the best.

Your desire

of my mind,

less than of my body,

as it should be,

with your spit

on my skin.

Your mouth on mine.

Your face.

Such a handsome face.

I remember it well

– do you remember mine?

Would you remember me fully clothed?

Passing by

in the street?

I remember the feel

of your hand,

on my heart,

your breath,

the saliva on your lips.

Your sweet taste.

Your groans,

and spasms so strong.

The mess you made,

when you were done.

And then saying good bye,

wondering what you think?

Would I ever

see you again?

There is joy 

and there are tears in

one night stand.

Road Trip

Many a mile has been travelled, as the sun sets on the blistering sands of our mind’s desert wasteland, which was once the fruitful valleys of our youth’s emotional dream time, 1000 kilometres ago.

Many a mile has been travelled. My brain is now half dead. And still the road stretches out in front, caught in the headlights high beam glow.

We played in each other’s smiles, for a while, we played I-Spy to pass the time, loaded up on roadhouse snacks, but alas, that was a millennia ago.

Are we there yet? He says as his enthusiasm goes.

We’re all set in for the duration,1000 kilometres, or so.

And still the road is swallowed under the front of the car, and still it just keeps coming, mile by mile.

The seats get hard to take, and we squirm about trying to make the pillows, and the blankets, and the dark, less numbing.

Affirmation

I'm lazy

I am so lazy

I am really lazy

I am so fucken lazy

I have always been so lazy

I'm the family member who is lazy

I’ve been told I am lazy since I was young

I remember my dad’s words telling me I was lazy

I can still feel my failures because I’ve always been lazy

It's true, I have spent my entire life thinking that I am the lazy one

Nobody wins

War is blood and it is dirt

It is ego and hate

Joy

I see the little kids happily babbling about life as they try to get through the supermarket doors with their scooters, holding everyone up, not a care.

I watch the adults faces watching the little kids patiently as the little kids happily babble about life as they try to get through the supermarket doors with their scooters, holding them up, not a care.

It’s funny, I think, we all used to be just like those little kids happily babbling about life as they try to get through the supermarket doors with their scooters, holding everyone up, not a care.

Jesus Christ

When I say, 

he is everything that is wrong with the world today,

I don't mean to say that this time is unique.

I think history speaks for itself,

and that humans have never really given a shit

about each other,

as much as they have about power.

Come What May

Wishes are just child's play, 

don't wish for things, you'll see... 

‘cause guess what, they are just dreams,

and dreams are sublime, magic and time, but

wishes ARE just child's play,

come what may.

We found out didn't we,

as we dreamt our lives away,

where did the time go?

So fast. What have we got to show?

Hopes and dreams.

Wishes are just child’s play,

come what may.

Aspirational

The ‘lesser’ are

discriminated against 

throughout their lives

by most of us, when you look at it,

closely.

The ‘greater’ 

get everything they want,

and more,

and it is never questioned.

It is celebrated.

We all hope we might catch it.

Island

You can never live your life alone,

find your tribe,

never let them go.

Glint

"There was so much that I didn't do."

My gravestone will glint in the sun

with that message, I am afraid, 

if grave stones can glint in the sun at all,

- the only time my life will shine in the light -

speaking to eternity of my failings.