Life

Do what you love, with

a little bit of food

a little bit of dance

stop and smell the flowers.

It isn’t any more complicated,

than that.

We Argue

I go for a walk

I intend it to be a long walk,

I take the dogs with me,

A couple of happy faces

To smile at me.

Towards the end, I stop for

Lemon sorbet in a cone

Anything, to not go home

Sweet and sour at the same time

The sun shines brightly down.

The dogs and I sit on a step 

outside the ice cream shop 

and watch the world wander by.

The dogs get twisted in their leads

At least there is a breeze

The sun beats down on the ground

The sky is blue all around.

Men in shorts abound

A girl smiles with her dachshund,

My boyfriend waits at home with a frown

I’m wondering where else I can go in town?

My Baby Got Back (Urban's version)

Oh... my... God…

Thommo, look at his butt, uh! it´s so big.

He looks like one of those hip guys’ boyfriends.

But, uh, you know,

Who understands those hip guys?

They only talk to him because he looks so fly, okay.

I mean, his butt! It is just so… big.

I cannot believe it is just so… round.

It is, like, out there. I mean, wow.

Look! He has just so... much!

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

Your other brothers cannot deny.

That when a boy walks in with a narrow waist and

A round thing in your face. You get sprung.

Want to pull up tough, ‘cause you notice that butt was how much?

Deep in the jeans he is wearing.

I am hooked and I cannot stop staring.

Oh baby, I want to get with you,

And take your picture.

In my arms as I sniff you.

My homeboys tried to warn me.

But that butt you got makes me so horny.

Ooh, take your smooth skin.

and say you want to get in my business?

Well, use me, cruise me,

Because he ain’t your average pup…py. 

I see him dancing,

To hell with romancing.

He has sweat. Wet.

Got it going like a thing to object’.

I am tired of magazines

Saying small butts are the thing.

Take the average young man & ask him that.

He has got to pack much back.

So, fella's, yeah, fella's,

Has your boyfriend got the butt? Hell, yeah.

So, tell him to shake it, SHAKE IT,

Watch him make it…

Shake that healthy butt.

Baby got back.

(a muscle back with a handful o’ booty.)

Baby got back.

(fingers in his crack with a handful o’ booty.)

I like them round and I like them big,

And when I am throwing a gig,

I just can't help myself,

I am acting like an animal.

Now here is my handle,

I want to get ya home and UH!

Double up, UH! UH!

I'm not talking about playing coy,

'Cause playin coy ain’t something I enjoy.

I like them real thick and juicy.

So fine that juicy booty.

Until we both get in trouble,

Begging for a piece of that bubble.

So, I am looking at rock videos.

Watching these himbos

Walking like boy hoes.

You can have them himbos.

I keep my men like Joe Schmo.

A word to the bunch of bros,

I want to get with you.

I won't swear, or hit you.

But I've got to be straight

When I say I wanna get in you

Till the break of day.

Baby, got it going on,

A lot of johns won't like this song,

'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it,

And I would rather stay and play with you,

‘cause I am long, and I am strong,

And I am down to getting the friction on.

So, fellas, yeah, fellas,

Do you want a roll of my business? 

Then turn around, and stick it out,

All the boys gotta shout. Yeah!

Baby got back.

Baby got back!

Yeah baby.

When it comes to lads,

The latest thing aint got nothing to do with my selection.

Tall, dark and handsome.

He got to be like 5´ 11".

So, your boyfriend drives hard bargain

Getting made over by Carson

But Carson ain’t got a hand in the back of what he’s got going on

My anaconda don't want none,

Unless you got buns, man.

You can do side bends, or sit-ups,

But bend you over and I go crazy,

Some brothers want to play that hard role,

And tell ya that butt ain´t gold,

So, they toss it, and leave it,

And I pull up quick to retrieve it.

So ‘they’ say you’re what? Fat?

Well, I ain´t down with that.

´Cause your waist is tight and your curves are kicking it,

And I am thinking about sticking it.

To the beanpole guys in the magazines,

you aint it Mr Thing.

Gimme a brother, I can´t resist, ha,

Feed them up so their strong Mr, ha.

Some knucklehead tried to diss.

‘cause his boys are on my list,

He had game but he chose to hit them,

And I pull up quick to get with them.

So, guys if that butt is round,

And you want to show… it… down…

Call me and I’ll cum around,

And kick them nasty thoughts around,

Baby got back.

Baby got back.

Broad Shoulders and he got much back.

Broad Shoulders a good way to hold onto that.

The Wilderness Society

There she was on the street, bright-eyed, with 'that' expectant smile,

with a clipboard and a badge, probably in the middle of a university education.

And she spots me and her eyes widen, and she smiles, in anticipation, and she says something like are you concerned about the environment?

I look her in the eye and say, What did you have in mind? Regretting even saying that much. I should have just kept walking.

Do you think we should be taking greater care of it?

I think for a minute and I say, Yes, but we’re not, are we.

And she says so that would be a yes?

And I say, Yes, No, I don’t think we are going to make it? I look her in the eye and shrug, either way.

And she says, well, do you want me to tell you how we can?

I think blah, blah, blah. And I say that I think it is all too late.

But would you rather think positively about it because its better than having negative thoughts. Right?

And I wonder if laughing is an appropriate response? But I don’t.

She holds my gaze, waiting for more.

And I don’t think she really understands what I am saying. I think a bit more, and I say, What are we saving? Really? What?

And she opens her clip board, 

but I continue on, look at Ukraine, look at the Middle East.

She tilts her head and opens her mouth to speak.

At any point, 50% of the world hates the other 50%.

But, she says…

Half the world doesn’t have access to fresh water, or enough food, while the other half is eating itself to death. 

But, she says again.

And those with more won’t give up anything to those people who have less.

But 'people power' has bought 80% renewable energy to South Australia, she says. 100% some days.

I wonder, again, if laughing is an appropriate response. But, I wonder, instead, what percentage of the world is South Australia?

So, doesn’t that say anything is possible?

Rundle Mall, and Hindley Street, and the BBQ Inn, and Glenunga and Unley and St Peters, all flash through my mind, and I say, The majority of the world isn’t taking climate change seriously.

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t.

But it is not going to save us?

It might. No, it can.

But, even you, I say. You are not standing here for the good of human kind.

Why do you think I am standing here then, she says.

To save yourself, I say. You are standing here to save yourself.

The Fall

Time marches on

cutting a swathe across humanity,

not the quicksand of death,

nor the currents of life,

slows it down.

It never stops.

The beating heart of all of man’s achievements,

or the reckless indifference 

to his very own survival.

It has borne witness

to his rise, and rise, and rise,

as it now gazes upon

his stupidity 

and fall.

Time is in unlimited supply,

the irony of which,

from all reports, is that

man seems to have

so little of it left.

 

Secret Of Life 101

You’re too big, You’re too small

You’re too fat, you’re too thin.

You’re too short, you’re too tall.

You’re too up, you’re too down.

You succeed, you stall.

People are going to judge you no matter what you do

So, fuck it!

Be yourself. Own it!

Be proud of it.

Because you, yes you,

are good enough just the way you are.

Don’t ever listen to anyone who says otherwise,

They are probably only saying it 

to make themselves look bright,

it is one of the secrets of life,

to learn,

to observe,

‘other’ people are absurd.

Cruel

The wind blows, outside,

somewhere beyond in the stillness, I find myself.

A transitory concept.

My body hums,

my senses numb,

I am lost in the

idea off all of this.

Ignorance can be bliss.

We should all strive more,

beyond the hubbub

and what everyone else does,

to what makes us special, unique.

A full life

is a consolation

for it having passed.

So fast, my head spins,

until, suddenly, 

I am staring at it all behind.

Why didn’t I? 

I had plenty of time too? 

I guess, I thought I had forever.