Fuck me up the arse and call me Mary,
I said out loud, I was so surprised.
And Auntie Janet dropped her tea cup,
into the saucer with quite a crash, and splash.
You don't get fucked up the arse, do you, hon,
said Janet. I'd thought you far to masculine for that?
First of all, hearing my old aunt say fucked up the arse
was really quite a trip and something I had to take in,
but, you know, it's a modern world, and it takes all sorts.
Why? Do you think it is a sin? I asked.
No, said Janet, with a twinkle in her eye,
I just found it hurt, when Simon tried it on me.
Oh, but you get used to it, we both said in unison, Janet and me.
And we laughed and laughed, sharing a ciggie, or two.
After that, she and I had a conspiracy that we shared,
and we were really much closer for it. Anal sex?
Who'd have thought? Janet was pushing 70 by then.
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