The Liquid Amber
frail beauty falling to earth.
All our broken hearts.
Some people say that you get what you need, in this life,
they even say there is some mythical being
making sure you never get more than you want, or need.
The truth is, that you get what you get
in this life, here is your lot, enough, too much,
they are not even considered, sink, or swim, here it is.
Write from your heart,
so it goes,
isn't that what they say?
I try to listen to what my heart says,
so I can tell you,
I want to, but,
how do you do that?
I don't know what is in there.
But whenever I leave my head, it’s a trap door, clunk, to a void, there isn’t anything there.
Trying too hard, I’m trying to put my brain into my chest.
“Barbara, I have two beautiful bulldogs.”
What I would have given for you to see them.
“Oh John, they are beautiful,” you’d say,
drawing both your hands up to the sides of your face.
Your look of the purest joy.
I’ve got Bulldogs, you had Bassett Hounds,
for all those years I drove your car around.
A Mini Cooper S, Mk1. BRG.
As I lay in front of my open fire, today,
on this winter’s day of June,
I suddenly realised, I will never,
have the pleasure of seeing your beautiful smile,
as you say those words.
I’m just going to have to dream
of that moment,
now forever,
instead.